Most Kids Can’t Do Basic Things Anymore

I ran across this interesting article by Natasha Hinde, and it really resonated with what we are seeing at camp over the last few summers.

Having been in the camp world for over 25 years, we have seen lots of changes in our campers and staff over that time. Since our beginning in 1954, Sam and Rochelle Hoffman set out to create a place that would complement the learning that children were gaining in school. Camp Kinneret was never about learning math, science, or English, but the life skills of critical thinking, communication, collaboration, and creativity (the four “c’s” as they are referred to in 21st century learning). These skills are even more important in today’s fast changing AI world where adults need to be great at things that machines and technology can’t replicate.

“Somewhere along the way, gentle parenting has been misread as gentle expectations, and kindness without accountability sells children short.”

The challenge of what we’ve experienced over the past many summers is the change in what parents are expecting from their children and what parents are doing to help children as they grow up. What started as ‘helicopter parenting‘ has turned into a version of ‘snow plow parenting‘ where parents believe they are helping their children by smoothing out the challenges their children will experience. Over the last few summers, parents have routinely said that summer should just be fun, and they don’t want their child to struggle. The challenge with this approach is that children are not developing the necessary skills of how to handle the hard things that come their way as they get older, resulting in high anxiety and stress.

Imagine handing an adult a bicycle and telling them they have to ride from point A to point B. If this is the first time they have tried to ride a bicycle, they will be completely terrified and anxious over the request. But if given the opportunity as a child, to first ride a balance bike, then a bike with training wheels and finally, with the guidance of an adult, that same adult is prepared for the task of riding from point A to point B.

“Chores are not punishment; they are the first lessons in teamwork, responsibility, and self-reliance. These habits later develop into resilience at school and reliability at work.”

It’s great that children like to do certain activities and it is certainly easier to sign them up for the programs that only do these activities. The problem is that the children get better at only those skills or activities, and their deficiencies in other areas only grow. Not only do they miss the opportunity to develop those skills that they are not as competent at, but more importantly, they miss the opportunity to learn how to handle not being good at something, to struggle and how to handle the emotions that come with that.

This is what a classic camp and summer experience should be. It should be a time for children to be challenged and pushed to do things that are hard and new, to develop skills in an area that is new to them. Most importantly, they are learning the life skills of how to handle these feelings and emotions. That’s where the skilled counselors and supportive camp environment come in so children know they are in a safe place to express these feelings and to develop the tools to push through those hard moments.

Children struggling and doing hard things should be the goal of the summer experience. When they do all of this in a supportive environment with caring adults to guide them, children are better prepared for the road ahead.